joshlovesyou:

surprisebitch:

farmerzonly:

marlbororeds100s:

from the updated intro to fight club by chuck palahniuk:

happy pride

filmnoirsbian:

filmnoirsbian:

filmnoirsbian:

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don’t want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they’re heading to the funeral, but usually they just don’t want to talk about it and that’s fine. But I always treat the flight like it’s a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that’s never enough, that’s whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a “Seriously??” And that’s my in! Now I can say “Why, what’s your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let’s see it.” And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it’s always super funny, so I laugh, and that’s where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I’m like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you’re going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said “What did the ghost say to the other ghost?” And I said “What?” “Nothing. Ghosts aren’t real.”

I’m literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job

drella:

drella:

evil beach boys wouldn’t it be knife

evil cyndi lauper girls just want to have gun

halobats:

this has reduced me to tears

thefloatingstone:

butchflirt:

funkyness:

funkyness:

funkyness:

explain to me how they can have a “first gay character in Disney history” every single year

diversity win! this character you already forgot about is gay!

some other first ever gay characters that have been brought to my attention

remember, if you don’t get praise the first time, you can keep going and pretend it never happened in the first place 💕

Two more for the pile

catasters:

jumpingjacktrash:

gray-firearms:

I am fucking dying

i’ve never heard such a good attenborough impression i’m rolling

specialagentartemis:

“whatever the fuck these two characters had going on” is a vastly underrated character dynamic

wiz-witch:

abandoned-as-mustard:

teachytv:

10 years ago today, Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way went back in time to sedouce Volxemort and protect all of us from his evil plans

reblog this post to honor Enoby’s brave sacrifice, ignore if you’re a prep or a poser

somehow, i kept hearing about this character and not actually hearing that that was the plot.

There was a plot?

cockmcstuffins:

bella was lucky she didn’t have a cell phone of any kind because you know ya boi edward would be blowing up that phone 24-7 going “saw a snail today…. effervescent” or some shit equivalent

jollyperfectionkitten-8e36536f:

mew2:

vvankster:

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

THIS IS RHE FUNNIEST SOUND THING IVE EVER HEARD ON THIS SITE IT MAJES ME LAUGH SO MUCH I LOVE IT IM SO HAPPY

Someone: How was your day

Me: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

urhajos:

Light and drawing, Nikita Busyak